My general thoughts:
While it’s still fresh in my mind, let me just get it out.
THIS BOOK IS A BEAUTIFUL TRAINWRECK.
Jackie Collins is a good writer. A good simple writer.
Reading everything, I never felt that she overwhelmed me with any information or even that I was lacking anything. And that’s sort of beautiful.
She is a good writer but I did not feel emotion where I should have, I think.
Places are described but I have no idea how. Still, I can just picture them even now, thinking about them so she must be some sort of magician writer.
So what do I mean by a beautiful trainwreck?
There is so much going on. So many unexpected things. So many coincidences. So many things! Really at some point it was just ALL THE THINGS.
The book starts with a literal bang and I’ll be damned if that wasn’t a powerful start. I LOVED IT.
Margaret Brown is a woman who is stepping on some toes. She is trying to save the prostitutes in the city and is slowly having them leave the brothels, the corners and their pimps.
Of course the mafia-type gangs get mad that this was happening. When she started it, no one really paid her any mind but then they realized she’s actually doing it right. Giving them alternatives, money where they need it, the strength to change and be better, help with getting over abuse and drugs. Margaret is like some sort of hippie prostitute messiah.
And she gets shot on like, page 3? It was a powerful start (not a spoiler, getting revenge is what the book is about).
There is a meeting of VENGEANCE cue lightning and thunder where the sisters (Beth and Lara), Margaret’s friend, Rio, her manager (and friend), Cass and her lover, whatshisname (Dicky? Dukey? Must be Dukey) team up and decide to get revenge on the man who killed Margaret.
They discover a hit was put on her and so, go for the man who ordered the hit, Enzio Bassalino, deciding to get their revenge through his sons cause “death isn’t good enough for him”. Dukey just wants the Basalinos all dead but the girls have it in their heads that they can get this vengeance using their vaginas because surely, there must be a reason vagina and vengeance share like four whole letters.
Yes. This is a good plan.
Anyway, so it begins. No one knows that Beth, Margaret and Lara are sisters.
Lara is a British hottie who has very high dating standards (I kid you not). As quoted: “She had been through most of the available princes and counts, a few movie stars, and a lord or two.”
This girl must be beautiful as all hell but where does she find princes just lying around waiting for her to tick them off her to-do list? Do they stand in line? Is there an app? Do they get notifications when it’s just their turn?
Their plan of vengeance was stupid.
I’m talking really stupid.
You will break these men with sex? With sex and mind games?
When the only one of you three with any sort of experience in manipulation is Rio? Pathetic.
The girls were idiots.
That they honestly believed this was a solid plan and no one but Dukey called them out on it made me raise my eyebrows a bit. Sex and then what?
If you’re not giving these men so much of the Clap that it becomes the Applause then I have no idea what your plan is.
If sex with you is not going to absolutely break his penis so he can never father children and those children he did father, are not somehow pulled into the black hole that is your vagina and unbirthed, then I don’t see how sex with you is some sort of getter-done plan.
If sex with you will not completely destroy the man as a human being and render him incapable of even waking up in the morning and peeing, then maybe, just maybe, you should find better ways of revenge.
Like good old murder.
When did we, as a people, become too good for murder as a form of revenge?
I’m just saying.
Leroy! I loved the hitman. He seemed fun. Like a guy I’d be drooling over right before he breaks my heart. And assassinates someone. Really, he didn’t deserve what happened to him.
I loved Lara until I didn’t. Lara was a beauty but that was it. She wasn’t manipulative or smart and she fell in love OUT OF NOWHERE! Like… what? Were some pages just cut off because I did not buy that for a moment… it made me roll my eyes so hard that they hurt and I think I was blind for a few minutes.
I liked Beth until I didn’t. Beth was a sweet innocent kid who’d been through some trauma. I understood her a little. She was a good person, kind even. I should have liked her more but Leroy stole all the love I had for the characters in this book.
Rio was too much for me but her confidence in herself was everything I dream I could be… without the overspill of arrogance and uncalled-for bitchery. But, if you’re going to be a bitch and need some classes, there’s your girl.
Nick was an asshole. Of the highest order. Enzio was trash but Nick was what happened when Enzo’s asshole thought to itself that he wasn’t a crappy enough person, detached itself from his bum and proceeded to somehow be born as a separate entity.
I hated Nick.
At first I respected him and his uppity loyalty to his old movie star girlfriend. That ended pretty quick after he decided a secret affair was not beneath him and I was done with him. It wasn’t even the secret affair I was mad at. I didn’t care about that. That was fine. It was how he was such a dick about it.
Frank was a small-dicked menace and Beth ruined his life. I felt a little bad for him by the end. I mean… it was all his fault but still.
The third brother who Rio toyed with was just… a lot. He was a lazy spoiled brat and Rio messing with him amused me quite a bit. She was the reason for his comeuppance so I guess she achieved her goal (kinda).
Really, they all sort of achieved what they set out to do. Except for Lara who got possessed by Nick’s loins and fell in love with him OUT OF NOWHERE! (I repeat for emphasis).
One minute she’s trying to catch his eye and the next they have sex and BAM! SHE LOVES HIM!
Everything was so over the top I’m starting to wonder if maybe that was the point.
THE LOVE KILLERS is a good book.
For all the flaws I found (and typos, surprisingly. I sometimes got the impression she loved it so much she published it as soon as she could. Hell, I certainly would have), I only put it down to do necessary things like eat and finish my thesis.
Everyone is a jetsetter and rich and able to fly everywhere at a moment’s notice. Must be nice.
The book does play on the women using sex thing. All the women (except Cass who was boring as hell), were some sort of crazy (you had to be to be on board with such a dumb plan). Prostitutes, low and high class, women who used sex to get what they wanted… everyone lost out (with one exception, I guess).
Maybe there was a deep message in there. Maybe it was just highly entertaining.
Either way, I did enjoy reading it and shall give it 3.5 stars (and round down so I don’t deceive the masses).